Online Dating: The Funny things Men say....

We've posted about Online Dating a few times before, pictures, messages, dates and the  "funny things men say...."

So here's the second batch of weird and crazy messages I get sent by men, reading them all together makes me wonder why on earth I have an online dating profile!!

Guys, if you're reading these and have sent a message similar to these, firstly STOP because your not going to get  a date!! Secondly... Thanks - They really made me laugh!!

"How much would you charge for me to buy some of your used underwear?"

I was absolutely gobsmacked by this one... I replied saying that there was no chance I'd sell my used underwear. He replied with "Really? I pay well!". I stopped replying... although I was really intrigued to know how much her would offer!!!

"Beauty with Natural."

This was all I got. Just this sentence. Don't think you can even call it a sentence really. I didn't bother to reply to this one!

"i had to just tell you your eyes are so dreamy theu are beautiful i mean it..."

Everyone loves a bit of flattery.... but grammar is also great. Capital "I" is an important lesson that you learn in primary school. Come on boys!!
"Ready for a serious relationship, willing to try something new."

WOW!! Hello Mr Full on!!! I know it's an online dating site but chill out a little bit!


"Hi/ Hello/ Hiyaz Babezzz/ Hey Sexi/ Hi Honey/ Hi there"  

Any form of the use Hello as a singular message is an immediate ignore from me. If I choose to send a message to a guy, I look at his profile and pick something out to message about. Just saying "Hi" is such a poor effort!!! 

"I'd crawl through cut glass just to smell one of your farts!"

This one made me howl. I'm sure it's supposed to be a funny/ cheesy chat up line! But mentioning "farts" straight away probably won't work well with all girls!!

"Excuse me I'm lost, I need directions."

You're not lost though are you? You are probably just sat in your bedroom... I know what you're trying to do, you are TRYING to use a cheesy chat up line. Cheesy chat up lines only work in person not online!

Guys.... Just a few tips on sending messages to girls online.
You've seen how not to do it, now here are a few tips on ways to send a good message.

1. Be yourself. Online dating is already a really weird concept, so just be yourself!
2. Don't just say "Hi" put in a bit of effort!!!
3. Don't try to be too funny.... sometimes wit and humour don't come across well typed up!
4. Don't send more than one message if you don't get a reply... "There's plenty more fish on the Internet!"

Happy online dating girls. If you get any crazy messages please do share!!!

Love,
J xx

Crazy Texting after a one night stand!

Have you all seen this?? It's called "This is what Crazy Looks like" its the screen shots of texts sent to "Kevin" from a girl called "JJ" and boy oh boy is  she persistant! JJ sends Kevin 44 texts without a single reply off him, after a one night stand!

Now I'll put my hand up here and admit that I have text a boy more than once without a reply, but you learn your lesson and you shrug it off and leave him be! This girl takes it to a whole other level of craziness!!!

Enjoy ladies, as it'll make you feel better about any text you have ever sent a boy!! Unless your JJ of course, then you need to stop texting!!!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like-via-text-messaging

This is the original post.

http://soundcloud.com/vaughan-1-1/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like

This is a sound cloud from a radio show!

Lots fo Love J xx

Valentine's Night !!

So after an absolutely perfect “Single Girls Valentines Day” (see the below blog), we moved swiftly to my flat where we started to get ready.

Perfect start to the evening, got ready, drank some wine and looked (even if we say so ourselves!) really bloomin’ gorgeous!! (We have even been told today how fit we looked in pictures so it must be true! haha)

We headed to a well know chain of Irish bar, which was full of couples. But we didn’t mind, we were just grabbing one cheap drink and then we were out of there ready to meet our Prince Charming.

After the yummy rose wine (so yummy we tweeted about it) we grabbed a cab into town. The cab driver charmed us with his chat pulling the old “I can’t believe two lovely girls like you are single” line on us. And we left the cab feeling glam and ready to party hard with all the other single people in London.

It was at this point that our day took a nose dive, face first into the floor. We met up with a good friend ( who is not actually single but was alone for the night) and headed to one of our favourite bars.

After grabbing our first drink (cocktails all round) we quickly surveyed the bar and it was filling up nicely. It was after our second trip to the bar that we started to notice things weren’t quite right.

The man behind me started shouting “I’ll take the blame for you, I’ll take every last bit of blame for you.” I turned and asked “Who are you – Bruno Mars.” It was at this point that I smelt it, that over whelming stench of beer farts (they absolutely stink). After laughing at the fact that his fart stank, I chatted to the men (one was wearing a suit and carrying a man bag that was hand-sewn together and the other a turtle neck jumper – i think that they had a bit of a bro-mance going on!).  When I joined the others, they told me it stank of farts (the smell was so bad that it had gone from the bar all the way across to our table!!)

Great Start to the night, getting farted at and not even offered a drink as a consolation!

It was after the first incident that we started to realise that all was not right within the bar, when we started to properly look around (sobering up quickly!!) we noticed just what an odd bunch of people there were in the bar.

Firstly we had the boy band rejects, about 70% of the male population in the bar looked as if not even Louis Walsh would want them in his category. There were girls who were wearing leisure yoga pants and trainers and dancing in an off beat fashion. A 4ft Guy dancing with a 7ft Girl and our favourite of the night 70's Style tuxedo wearing guy ( complete with bow tie and crazy hair) dancing in our space, like he had never danced before !! Our friend said it best 'its honestly like we have an extra from every type of film in here.'

It was literally as if a full moon had just occurred right outside the bar. Not one person was trying to make conversation, instead they were simple running around the dance floor in crab style fashion attempting to grope as many people as possible.

Needless to say the three of us escaped to the safe haven of the Golden Arches! And as we sat there with our Big Macs and Cokes we pondered the night’s craziness, with all of us declaring that it was beyond a joke!

It did however lead me to ask the question just how far in our really high (and by this time painful) heels did we have to walk to find the Prince Charming we are looking for!